There’s that age old saying; “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. I’m not sure where this originated but I find it hard to believe that this person experienced anyone saying nasty things to them.
Bullying comes in a multitude of forms. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the physical type. Personally, I find that emotional bullying leaves a longer-lasting scar but that’s just my opinion.
Some people don’t realise the damage they are inflicting; they think of it as a joke or “just a bit of banter”. Maybe it is to them but it might not be “just a bit of banter” to the person who is being told that they are chubby or that they look ugly today. These people need to be made aware of the impact that their seemingly harmless words are having on their victim.
Some people know exactly what they are doing. These people intentionally inflict pain on others with their words and I don’t know why they do it. Maybe they do it because they are hurting. Maybe it’s because they are jealous and want to feel better about themselves by putting other people down. I was recently a victim of bullying where the person knew what they were doing and saying. Those people are negative influences on your life and they drag you down.
I’m not sure why some feel like they have to drag people down- that’s something I feel like I will never understand. Nobody ever wants to be labelled as a bully.
Believe me, I get it. It’s so hard to ignore people when they consistently bully you. The worst kind is when they bully you for a particular negative aspect that you are self-conscious about to begin with. It’s like an affirmation. More often than not, these people see something in you that they are envious of. Please don’t let other people’s destructive comments change you. My self-esteem has been crushed because of bullies and it has taken a long time for me to get to a point where I can even attempt to shut them out.
The thing that I’ve started to realise is that most bullies are just mean people who don’t care who they hurt to make themselves feel better. These people are not worth your time or energy. My mother and father always taught me to be kind. To treat people with respect and to be a good person. Life is too hard as it is without creating more drama. If you are being bullied in any way, I implore you to talk to someone. I know it’s easy to sit here and type and everyone says it but even telling friends or family is a step forward. Anyone you trust. Honestly, it makes all the difference. They can be there to tell you that it isn’t true and will stop you from believing a lie. Remember, your friends don’t have to be your friends. They choose to be because they see things in you that they love. Don’t forget that.
I’m still working on not taking bullies’ words to heart but I’ve tried to tackle that by surrounding myself with people that make me feel good about myself; people who tell me every day that I’m not who the bullies say I am. My low self-esteem (and my typical English, self-deprecating attitude) means that I don’t always accept the nice comments said about me but it’s a learning curve and one that I’m going to do whilst leaving those negative people behind.